5 Types Of Facebook Users You Should Delete But You Didn't. Why?
Here's another 5 TYPES update!
click here for the previoussterotyping categorisation
Who would have thought years ago that someone came up with something so awesome that could replaced friendster? And that despite copiers like G+, people are still using Facebook? Ok, I am speaking from my tiny list of friends and how they are still quite active on Facebook.
Anyway, that paragraph above was just an excuse of an introduction. So I hoped you have ignored that and jumped straight to the 5 TYPES :D Once again in no particular order of preference, the 5 types of people I have contemplated unfriend-ing but whom I have not. Why?
*also I am lazy to keep typing he/she, just so you know.*
More often than not, 9 out of 10 of his status would read something like:
"I am bored."
"Going to bed, bye."
"Good morning."
"Sitting at the bus-stop, watching cars whizz by."
Did I already mention that he updates his status once every 5 to 10 minutes?
Such that when you view your newsfeed on mobile, every alternate box you see is his name.
Why you should keep this friend?
Isn't that obvious?
Because you are living a better life than he is :D
Sorry, as evil as this might sound to some of you, I actually feel better knowing that I am not rotting my time away (ok fine, I surfed facebook) 'watching cars go by'.
These people are possibly your best life entertainer, so keep them close to yourheart... phone :)
I don't even know why he uses Facebook actually, a better app would be Lovebyte, you know something like Facebook, Whatsapp, Twitter all mix into one but for only TWO PEOPLE.
The ODA-er status or comments usually go something like this
"Had a wonderful time with my baby darling sweetheart cutiepie at XYZ location"
or it can be a paragraph long talking about how he cannot live without the person or how much he loves her or how he gets the warm fuzzy feeling when he's with her and that he can't wait to see her again even though they have only just met.
OR all of these content at the same time.
IN
YOUR
FACE.
Till today, it puzzles me why someone like this wants to post such things online for everyone to see and I wonder really just how many times those words were spoken instead of typed?
The only possible explanation that I have came up with is that people like these seek validation. From who or for what I have no explanations.
Some people argued that they 'want to share the love.'
Hey so how about sharing your gf/bf and we see if this love can be shared? Clearly there's something special about that person right? So let's share maybe?
Btw if you are a person who is forever unhappy about why your partner not as romantic as this ODA-er, you MUST unfriend this person. Chances are such couple will spoil YOUR relationship because you will start to grumble and demand that your partner does the same. Don't worry my dearest, coolest, sweetie, darling bf, I am not doing it.
Oh shit. I did I just... ?!!
BAHAHAHAHA!
Moving on.. but if you don't have a psychotic partner or if you are #foreveralone.. keep these people on your newsfeed. At small dosages, these people may make you feel that life is worthwhile lol (ok I don't believe in this). Also, if you are living in the tropics like me, such statuses can serve as an immediate air-conditioner. Finally, if you are feeling evil, just think about what would these people (with their recycled vocabulary) say when they finally cannot stand each other. Woohoo!
Generally I do not oppose photography or specifically selcas, because, I believe I did something similar in my previous blog entry (and many others) tehehe. The type of photographer I do oppose is when
a) this type combines itself with Type 1, the Updater.
Hey, our telco cut data to 2gb per month ok, can you stop spamming pictures on Facebook? Some other people do have better, more intelligent sounding status than your 'picture-that-can't-speak-a-thousand-words'.
Ok I get it that not everyone is a professional photographer, but wtf? 200 photographs in an album with 50% of those blur? Sure, I love to see your travel photos but maybe they can be edited first?
Or what about those narcissistic people who took 100 self-shots and.. POST THEM UP ALL AT ONCE (like the Updater)? Combine this with an ugly face = homfg nooooooooooo :D
Keep these people as your friends.
Especially the pro photographers. One day, you are going to need their help lol.
ok no but seriously, simply because a good photograph/album can really make you day :)
For the rest?
Laugh.
Laugh at the fact that their skills are so much poorer than yours
Laugh at the fact that they could use some better genes.
That was how Facebook was founded right? Comparing people.
Relax. This is how the world rolls.
Oh for type 2 people, you must must must must must have friends under this category. It's the VALIDATION you are seeking for!!
Or popularity in other words.
As the name suggest, like-whores like everything or almost everything you say.
They are call 'fans' in reality. Except they are not supposed to be your fan, but your friends.
You know you have a true friend when he validates some good things you do, but not everything you do.
Especially not when your status says 'hi.' and he still goes and likes it anyway. That's freaky. You might want to check his sexual orientation while you are at it.
Why keep such people?
Because in the era of le social meeeddddiiaaaaa, you need the crowd to do everything. To share your sob stories, to buy your stuff online etc. These like-whores form your fan-base. The more you have the better, because they are the solution to your instant fame.
Just don't post something that's racist.
or anti-religious.
You might get famous for the wrong reason.
"XYZ invited you to play Farmville"
or what other 123253459 games available on Facebook.
Confession: I was part of the 'Restaurant Story, Hotel Story etc era'.
and I normally only spam fellow players okay!
Seriously?
After sending about 10 requests and your friend is still NOT playing the game that you are enjoying, is that NOT a signal? Are you dense or is your EQ 0? I mean I am usually highly thick-skinned, but there's a threshold man.
Why you should keep people like this?
Because you get notification on that little globe icon.
Some people like to think that they are very popular, you know.
or when you are bored, you know what gamesnot to play!
click here for the previous
Anyway, that paragraph above was just an excuse of an introduction. So I hoped you have ignored that and jumped straight to the 5 TYPES :D Once again in no particular order of preference, the 5 types of people I have contemplated unfriend-ing but whom I have not. Why?
*also I am lazy to keep typing he/she, just so you know.*
1) The Updater
It is quite unlikely that you will ever forget the presence of this person. It feels like you are living in his life somehow even though he may be ten thousand miles away from you. It's quite easy to recognise this person. He updates his wall more frequently than Windows. |
| http://weknowmemes.com/ |
More often than not, 9 out of 10 of his status would read something like:
"I am bored."
"Going to bed, bye."
"Good morning."
"Sitting at the bus-stop, watching cars whizz by."
Did I already mention that he updates his status once every 5 to 10 minutes?
Such that when you view your newsfeed on mobile, every alternate box you see is his name.
Why you should keep this friend?
Isn't that obvious?
Because you are living a better life than he is :D
Sorry, as evil as this might sound to some of you, I actually feel better knowing that I am not rotting my time away (ok fine, I surfed facebook) 'watching cars go by'.
These people are possibly your best life entertainer, so keep them close to your
2) The ODA-er (online display of affection)
This person is quite similar if not the same as the type of person who tends to forget friends when he is in a relationship. The self-absorbed sort, you know what I mean?I don't even know why he uses Facebook actually, a better app would be Lovebyte, you know something like Facebook, Whatsapp, Twitter all mix into one but for only TWO PEOPLE.
The ODA-er status or comments usually go something like this
"Had a wonderful time with my baby darling sweetheart cutiepie at XYZ location"
or it can be a paragraph long talking about how he cannot live without the person or how much he loves her or how he gets the warm fuzzy feeling when he's with her and that he can't wait to see her again even though they have only just met.
OR all of these content at the same time.
IN
YOUR
FACE.
 |
| http://asdfghjunaps.tumblr.com/ not the best of examples, but you know what I mean. |
Till today, it puzzles me why someone like this wants to post such things online for everyone to see and I wonder really just how many times those words were spoken instead of typed?
The only possible explanation that I have came up with is that people like these seek validation. From who or for what I have no explanations.
Some people argued that they 'want to share the love.'
Hey so how about sharing your gf/bf and we see if this love can be shared? Clearly there's something special about that person right? So let's share maybe?
Btw if you are a person who is forever unhappy about why your partner not as romantic as this ODA-er, you MUST unfriend this person. Chances are such couple will spoil YOUR relationship because you will start to grumble and demand that your partner does the same. Don't worry my dearest, coolest, sweetie, darling bf, I am not doing it.
Oh shit. I did I just... ?!!
BAHAHAHAHA!
Moving on.. but if you don't have a psychotic partner or if you are #foreveralone.. keep these people on your newsfeed. At small dosages, these people may make you feel that life is worthwhile lol (ok I don't believe in this). Also, if you are living in the tropics like me, such statuses can serve as an immediate air-conditioner. Finally, if you are feeling evil, just think about what would these people (with their recycled vocabulary) say when they finally cannot stand each other. Woohoo!
3) The Photographer
 |
| http://www.foodwoolf.com/ |
Generally I do not oppose photography or specifically selcas, because, I believe I did something similar in my previous blog entry (and many others) tehehe. The type of photographer I do oppose is when
a) this type combines itself with Type 1, the Updater.
Hey, our telco cut data to 2gb per month ok, can you stop spamming pictures on Facebook? Some other people do have better, more intelligent sounding status than your 'picture-that-can't-speak-a-thousand-words'.
Ok I get it that not everyone is a professional photographer, but wtf? 200 photographs in an album with 50% of those blur? Sure, I love to see your travel photos but maybe they can be edited first?
Or what about those narcissistic people who took 100 self-shots and.. POST THEM UP ALL AT ONCE (like the Updater)? Combine this with an ugly face = homfg nooooooooooo :D
Keep these people as your friends.
Especially the pro photographers. One day, you are going to need their help lol.
ok no but seriously, simply because a good photograph/album can really make you day :)
For the rest?
Laugh.
Laugh at the fact that their skills are so much poorer than yours
Laugh at the fact that they could use some better genes.
That was how Facebook was founded right? Comparing people.
Relax. This is how the world rolls.
4) The Like-Whore
 |
| http://marketingyourhospital.com/ |
Oh for type 2 people, you must must must must must have friends under this category. It's the VALIDATION you are seeking for!!
Or popularity in other words.
As the name suggest, like-whores like everything or almost everything you say.
They are call 'fans' in reality. Except they are not supposed to be your fan, but your friends.
You know you have a true friend when he validates some good things you do, but not everything you do.
Especially not when your status says 'hi.' and he still goes and likes it anyway. That's freaky. You might want to check his sexual orientation while you are at it.
Why keep such people?
Because in the era of le social meeeddddiiaaaaa, you need the crowd to do everything. To share your sob stories, to buy your stuff online etc. These like-whores form your fan-base. The more you have the better, because they are the solution to your instant fame.
Just don't post something that's racist.
or anti-religious.
You might get famous for the wrong reason.
5) The Gamer
 |
| http://egers.rssing.com/ maybe try some real farming next time? |
"XYZ invited you to play Farmville"
or what other 123253459 games available on Facebook.
Confession: I was part of the 'Restaurant Story, Hotel Story etc era'.
and I normally only spam fellow players okay!
Seriously?
After sending about 10 requests and your friend is still NOT playing the game that you are enjoying, is that NOT a signal? Are you dense or is your EQ 0? I mean I am usually highly thick-skinned, but there's a threshold man.
Why you should keep people like this?
Because you get notification on that little globe icon.
Some people like to think that they are very popular, you know.
or when you are bored, you know what games
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